Anyway, fastforward to 2015. I'm 26 now and I'm still living with my parents. I have enough money from online rakets (eh?) to move out and support Brianna and I for a few months - I've done, like, countless of budget computations and such - but I've this weird thing about money that I will only spend it if I have extra money. Pag saktuhan lang sa budget, no deal... Yes, I am a scaredy cat like that.
Going back, I am thankful for the freebies and all. I mean, there are a lot of things that we get to have for free like a roof over our heads and water and stuff but alongside all that is one huge problem - at least for me: I don't get to make a decision without hearing the "Di mo man lang naisip mararamdaman namin" speech.
I am a pretty sensitive gal. A lot of my decisions, actually, are made by taking other people's emotions into consideration. Where I eat, what I do with my hair, everything. From time to time, yes, I decide on something that I feel is good for me - and it's not that often - but whenever I do, that's when I get the extended dance studio remix of the same song. I mean, yes, I understand that they're just looking out for
I am sure I don't have the answers to everything and I am most especially sure that I am going to need a lot of help in the coming years but I am also sure that I am capable of doing great things, if given the chance and that I am old enough to make decisions on my own, for me and my daughter, without ANYONE making me feel about them. I mean, she is MY daughter.
<End of Rant>
(I am so sorry for the run-on sentence right there but I want for you to read it that way because that's the way I would say it out loud.)
I don't know why I want to publish this here instead of in my personal blog. I guess I'd like to hear what other people has to say about the situation I am in. I know there aren't any details in here which will make it seem like I am just acting up - and maybe I am - but whatevs. I am just at the point in my life where I want to actually take control of my life, the way that it's meant to be.
Before I got married, I tried to live alone because I want to be independent and see if I can live on my own. Then I got married, we did not stay with my husband's parents because I don't like the idea of it. It is better for me to rent kaysa makisama and I want to be the queen of my own house. lol
ReplyDeleteI think if you are already financially independent then it would be a nice try to move out from your parent's "wings". But maybe talk to them first also regarding the thought of having your own space or raising your child on your own. Independence is a nice trait that maybe your daughter could also pickup from you someday. I'm sure whatever you decide, you'll do great mommy :)
ReplyDeleteI have a 3 year old daughter and my parents are so far away in the province..yet I wish I'm living with them. I hope all goes well with you in whatever you decide on. :)
ReplyDeleteI moved out since I was 18 years old and there are pros and cons to living alone. I missed my family so much but on the other hand, you also get to be more independent. Now that I have a family, I'd like to still be away from both me and my husband's family but I want a regular visit also. I hope God gives you the wisdom you need on this big decision making.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely don't burn the bridge between you and your parents. Make sure you make them understand why you want to leave and have your own space. In the long run, you'll always come back to them for help either for your daughter's baby sitter for the day, help on some errands, house chores, etc.
ReplyDeleteGo on and live the way you want it to be for you and your daughter. Goodluck!
I agree with Michi, me and my husband didn't live with his parents after we got married. Hirap makisama. Maybe, it's time to try on your own, but yes don't burn bridges with your parents. Not because you might be needing them in the future but because they're still your parents. They might seem to be overprotecting you or just don't have the right way to show how much they care about you and your daughter.
ReplyDeleteAfter the husband and I got married, we lived alone for a while. After 4 years, we moved into a new home with the in-laws. It's a lot lesser load in terms of expenses but of course, there's the hard part of getting along. There are down times but it helps to just focus on the good ones. :) Hope you'd be able to get over your tough times. :)
ReplyDeleteI always prefer living separately from parents since there are instances when its hard to get along. There are perks kasi libre everything but if you want control, especially now that you have a child, it's something you can't get. Syempre money plays an important role here kasi living alone means shouldering everything.
ReplyDeleteI understand your need for independence but I also understand your parents. I mean, its hard for most parents to cope up with sudden change especially knowing that you are a single parent yourself. They feel that if you and your daughter are with them, they'll be able to protect and give you the security that they think you need. Chillax, most Filipino parents are like that. :) -edel
ReplyDeleteI am 29 and I am still living with my parents. I always want to be independent and live on my own because I know we can do it. I have enough earnings online too but I am worried about my parents. I don't want them to feel bad about my leaving. All these years, I always followed what they want for me. I didn't even get a job because they want me to stay for the family business. But then, even if the business is named after me, I really didn't have the voice for it and couldn't even work for it. In the end, I am a stay at home civil engineer writing online. How's that? What you want right now is exactly what I want to do before I turn 30!
ReplyDeleteBefore I got married we are already looking for a house but my dad has a lot of complains sa lahat na nahanap namin no parking, the place is not safe, the house is too small mas malaki pa room mo etc. Ang ending sa house namin me tumira after the wedding and I got pregnant four months after mas lalo kami hindi nakaalis because no one will take care of my son that we can trust and its the first apo. I don't have any problem living with them, we share with the expenses and chores everything. Of course we are still dreaming of our own house in God's time :-)
ReplyDeleteMaybe 2015 is all about taking a leap of faith! Paying rent is a pain in the ass and not worth it, why not look for a place for you and B then invest :)
ReplyDeleteI feel you, been there. When my husband was still working overseas and I was living with my mom. I was only 19 and my son was 2 yo. I thought to rent a separate apartment because I believe that will make me more of a better person. My mom felt bad when I moved out of my parents house because super mamimis nya apo nya, first apo pa naman. Pero after few months, she told me na buti nlng daw pumayag syang magsarili ako because she saw how it changed me in a positive way. It thought me how to be more responsible as a mother and as a wife. I learned how to budget my time/money and I learned to do a lot of things like pagluluto and other house chores.
ReplyDeleteParents are parents. They will always be protective (over) especially with their grandchildren. There maybe times that they will go overboard, but I guess, that's really the nature of every parents. Try to understand their views, but if you really want to be independent, you really have to move out. Explain to them your decisions, your plans. Sa umpisa Lang nman cla mgtatampo, but in the end, they will still understand. Good luck! :D
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