Positive Discipline

I was on my usual Facebook/Twitter/Instagram back read (what do you call it if you look back on IG photos because obviously, you don't read photos... HAHA!) when I stumbled upon this linked article on Rappler. It caught my attention for two reasons: First is that it says "Positive Discipline". Actually, whenever I read the word positive, 101% of the time, I click on the link. Second, it says "The new way of parenting". Although I did not grow up in a household that physically punishes the children for faults, psychologically, I think something went wrong not only to me but to my siblings as well and I don't want my daughter to experience something like that.

Positive Discipline is a way of disciplining kids minus the usual corporal punishment that's rampant among Filipino families. It also promotes healthy upbringing of well-rounded kids who are not only respectable of adults, but who are also aware of their basic rights as a human being. It also allows children to acquire the skills set that they will need to tread through (real) life.

I admit: There are times when I lose my cool and let go of the occasional spank on the bum but after reading this, I realized that I might be screwing up a learning child for good. Now is the ripest of times to change gears and actually discipline without hurting my daughter both physically and psychologically.

Dr.  Joan Durant, the Canadian family therapist who introduced this concept, provided the public with 7 characteristics of Positive Discipline, as stated in the Rappler article:

1. Non-violent and respectful of the child as a learner
2. About finding long-term solutions that develop children’s own self-discipline
3. Involves clear communication of parents’ expectations, rules, and limits
4. Builds a mutually respectful relationship between parent and child
5. Teaches children life-long skills
6. Increases children's competence and confidence to handle challenging situations
7. Teaches courtesy, non-violence, empathy, self-respect, human rights and respect for others.

Positive Discipline also differentiates discipline from punishment. Harsh physical and power-assertive parenting almost always result in a negative child outcome while inductive (e.g. use of reasoning) parenting is associated with positive child outcome.

What I love most about what I've learned about Positive Discipline so far is the fact that it allows the child to be heard and to be treated as an equal to the parent when it comes to being a "person". I love my family and all but I grew up in a household where the mere act of answering a question counts as "sumasagot ng pabalang" and having a different opinion means you're being a "pasaway". This new concept allows for the child to speak up without being punished for saying the wrong thing, how ever light the punishment is.

The PETA Advocates Right to Safety Zone (PETA ARTS Zone) is the one spearheading this project in the Philippines. They are calling for Positive Discipline as a way to raise the modern Filipino child.

Love does not need to hurt and that is why the PETA ARTS Zone, in partnership with Plan International, Child Rights Network, and Dakila, is inviting us supermommies and superdaddies to "Go Positive! The Celebrity Advocates" Media Launch on May 21, Thursday, 11:00 am-2:00 pm at the QC Sports Club located at E. Rodriguez Sr., Blvd., Quezon City.

Understand more about Positive Discipline and learn the reasons why the Positive Discipline Bill should be passed in the Congress in this event and let us all help eradicate the source of domestic abuse in our country.

How To Deal: Tinkling on the Bed

Brianna is at that age when she doesn't have to wear diapers anymore. I am one proud mom, hearing her say that she needs to peepee or do number 2 and go to the toilet instead of just doing it anywhere right when she feels it coming. But alongside this milestone is a problem...tinkling on the bed. So here's my question for the week:

How do you deal with kids tinkling on the bed in the middle of the night?

Not that Brianna does this every night but she does every once in a while even though I make her go before she sleeps. I want to end it altogether so I don't get all weepy over newly-changed sheets in the middle of the night.

So, do you have any tips for me, mommies?

One year and one month.

I am now getting really worried because Brianna still hasn't started walking. I know this is still within normal but I am not feeling really comfortable with knowing that she still can't walk. She can't even stand up on her own yet. In fact, she can't make herself stand up yet.

I am really bothered by this. Can somebody help me encourage her? I don't know what to do anymore. I just get even more and more frustrated by the day. :|

Slapping

Brianna has this habit (yeah, turned into a habit already) of slapping whenever she's annoyed or she can't get what she wants and she's barely one year old! I don't know where she learned to do this and I don't intend to know anymore. All I want to know is how I will be able to stop her from doing it. My mom always tells her "NO!" and I am already getting tired of hearing it. Plus, as much as possible, I don't want Brianna's mind to adapt to the term "no" because she might end up not taking chances in the future. Yes, programming starts very early in life that's why I want to "program" Bree positively, not negatively.

I know that there is a positive way to remove this habit of Brianna's but I don't know what it is exactly.

Aren't you too old for that?

Yes, Brianna's too old for those but I decided to put them on again because she keeps on snacking on her fingers and they probably are sore by the way they look.

Thumbsucking is normal for babies, according to Brianna's pedia but should be stopped early on for it is highly addictive. It's like cigarettes for babies. Her pedia said I should distract her from sucking her fingers by toys. I got her one of those jungle gyms but whenever she gets excited, she automatically puts her hands in her mouth. Yes, in it, not on it.

Anyway, this solution doesn't seem to work. She still has her fingers in her mouth as I type. But at least her hands won't look bruised anymore.

I need help on this issue, moms. Fo realz.